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disability, dysfunction, Fear, finance, foolishness, health, neuroses, self-reflection

Revisiting FEAR

There’s a Huey Lewis song – The Power of Love.  Something else can have power if you give it some – FEAR.

In 2009, I was diagnosed with lymphoma and given six months of chemotherapy.  I lost my hair, my cancer, and my job.  And it took me some time to get disability benefits, including Medicare.  And on my meager disability, I couldn’t afford COBRA.

So I went for two years without any medical care, save affording some meds for my diabetes.  The other conditions I have had to wait.  Including follow-up with my oncologist.

When I was finally awarded Medicare last July, I thought great, now I can go see my oncologist.  In the previous two years he had scheduled a number of tests for me, but as I couldn’t afford them, I didn’t go.  And I worried about losing benefits if still in remission, and about not having gone soon enough if not.  The classic double-edged sword.

But, I finally found some courage and went yesterday.  My doctor completely understood why I’d not been in to see him, and I shared my trials of the past couple years with him:  few meds, losing my home, fears about benefits, ability to pay the 20% Medicare requires.  He was very understanding and accommodating.

He said as his exam showed no recurrence, and it had been over three years, there was no need for an MRI or other expensive tests!  I’m to return in six months, and probably one more time after that.  Then, only if I have symptoms.  He didn’t think being in remission would affect my benefits.  And, I’m still cancer free!

And isn’t knowledge and action better than ignorance and FEAR?  Perhaps I’ll remember this next time.

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About guffaw1952

I'm a child of the 50's. libertarian, now medically-retired. I've been a certified firearms trainer, a private investigator, and worked for a major credit card company for almost 22 years. I am a proud NRA Life Member. I am a limited-government, free-market capitalist, who believes in the U.S. Constitution and the Rule of Law.

Discussion

23 Responses to “Revisiting FEAR”

  1. I’m extremely happy to hear the doctor’s report. Congratulations, my friend!

    Posted by Rev. Paul | November 1, 2012, 8:25 am
  2. That is GREAT news!!! :-)

    Posted by Old NFO | November 1, 2012, 10:05 am
  3. Glad to hear the news. Hopefully the remission will last.

    Posted by BobG | November 1, 2012, 10:27 am
  4. Yay!

    Posted by Borepatch | November 1, 2012, 10:40 am
  5. I absolutely cannot say YAY loud enough! Bravo Zulu!

    Posted by LeeAnn | November 1, 2012, 1:35 pm
  6. +1 on all the positive comments.

    Posted by WellSeasonedFool | November 1, 2012, 3:29 pm
  7. Quite the feeling, isn’t it? :)
    Q

    Posted by Quizikle | November 1, 2012, 4:00 pm
  8. That is great to hear. Glad things are falling in place for you!

    Posted by CoolChange | November 1, 2012, 4:10 pm
  9. Fantastic! I hope Tam gets news this good as well.

    I hate this (expletive) disease.

    Posted by lpcard | November 1, 2012, 10:19 pm
  10. Great news! (And about time you got some!)

    Posted by Tam | November 2, 2012, 6:53 am

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FEAR

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." - Bene Gesserit, from Frank Herbert's Dune

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