you're reading...
enthusiam, humor, other cultures, physical health, swords, tacticool, TMCCC

You’ll Never Be A Ninja!

no ninjas“You’ll never be a ninja!”

I used to announce this, dripping with irony and humor, at my former workplace, usually to the women whose fashion choices included clogs, sandals, and stiletto heels.  All of which I thought were designed to make the loudest and most annoying sounds possible.  Repetitively.

(Unless you count the folks who sit at their desk, and unwrap their (snacks, lunch, spare socks, etc.) contained in those plastic grocery bags!  It would take them five minutes of incessant rustling just to extricate the object. Then another five to roll close the $%^*&^^$#% bag!)

Initially, we were required to wear dress shoes, but eventually, the East Coast management figured out we were largely more casual here in Arizona, and kept making up pointless contests wherein we peons could ‘win’ the privilege of dressing ‘casually’.  We went from white shirts, ties and dress Oxfords, to chinos, polo shirts and athletic shoes.  And sometimes even blue jeans!

But the women continued to largely wear noisy footwear.

When I was in my 20s, even with my physical limitations, I thought I could be pretty stealthy.  Two years of karate and all.  And I lived in athletic shoes.  Quietly.

Now, being medically retired, I live in Wranglers, colored T-shirts, and my orthopaedic shoes.  One built up to accommodate my leg disability.  And, as I put more weight on the opposite foot, that shoe tends to wear out sooner.

And now is making squeaking noises.

I’ll never be a ninja.

Karma is a bitch!

About these ads

About guffaw1952

I'm a child of the 50's. libertarian, now medically-retired. I've been a certified firearms trainer, a private investigator, and worked for a major credit card company for almost 22 years. I am a proud NRA Life Member. I am a limited-government, free-market capitalist, who believes in the U.S. Constitution and the Rule of Law.

Discussion

4 thoughts on “You’ll Never Be A Ninja!

  1. Ah, but you’re not thinking tactically: if only one shoe squeaks, your victims won’t bother running away – they’ll think it’s a slow, one-legged attacker. You have the element of surprise!

    Posted by Rev. Paul | July 25, 2013, 8:18 am
  2. You don’t have to sneak up on anything if they look at you and decide you are not a threat and put their head back down, then you can close in…

    I understand about the female footwear. I work in a building with tile floors in the hallways. You can hear the femailes in heels coming for a hundred yards. Creeps me out.

    Posted by Matt | July 25, 2013, 9:01 am

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

"One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas - how he got in my pajamas I dunno!" - Groucho Marx as Captain Spaulding in Animal Crackers

This election is not about who gets voted off the island.
It’s about who is at the tiller of this Republic’s Ship of State. - Guffaw

THE NOW SHAMELESS BLOGGER’S SURVIVAL FUND

Email

guffaw1952 (at) hotmail (dot) com

What ‘They’ Are Saying About Guffaw…

"Guffaw is 'controversial' " - Vietnam-era Green Beret 'Doc'

"One of my favorites, I love the old P.I. stories. They have a nice Mickey Spillane feel to them." - Siddhartha

"...an avid arms man." - Natalie

"Old Private Investigator Entertainment. OPIE" :-D - North

Liebster Blog Award

x 4 ! Thank you North, Tango Juliet, ProudHillbilly and Fill Yer Hands!

Profiles in Curry

The Book of Barkley

American Flag

Gibson

I Stand With Gibson!

Browncoat

Judy’s Salon

jatjfy (at) live (dot) com (480) 529-6133

Proud Blogfather of

Quizikle

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 295 other followers

The Four Rules

1. ALL GUNS ARE ALWAYS LOADED.

2. NEVER POINT YOUR MUZZLE AT SOMETHING YOU ARE NOT WILLING TO DESTROY.

3. KEEP YOUR FINGER OFF THE TRIGGER UNTIL YOUR SIGHTS ARE ON THE TARGET AND YOU ARE READY TO SHOOT.

4. KNOW YOUR TARGET AND WHAT'S BEYOND.

Certified EVIL!

FEAR

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." - Bene Gesserit, from Frank Herbert's Dune

Penn Jillette

“F**k Civility. Hyperbole, passion, and metaphor are beautiful parts of rhetoric. The marketplace of ideas cannot be toned down for the insane.” - Penn Jillette

Blog Stats

  • 143,887 hits

+ blog stats from the PREVIOUS Guffaw in AZ blog…

109,419

Copyright Notice

All original content on this web site is copyright (c) on date of publication by this author. All rights reserved, except that others may quote from the original content under the 'Fair Use' provisions of U.S. copyright law.

Financial Disclosure

I'm currently on disability, unable to work, and receive marginal benefits. I've been advised by SSDI I may receive some additional income. Based on their statements, I'm adding a bleg to this blog. Effective 03/06/2012. Thank you for your kindness.

In Loving Memory…

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 295 other followers

%d bloggers like this: