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guns, history, knives, swords, toughness

Are You TOUGH?

I was looking for an old cartoon (from Playboy, 1970’s Buck Brown, I think).  No luck with Google, Yahoo or Bing.
There’s a couple seated in a restaurant booth.  The man has a fork sticking horizontally out of his nose.
The woman says, “You’re tough, Nick.  I like a man who’s tough!”
The reason for this studious research was a link I found through Miss Cellania (always the best in twisted humor and trivia.)
She has a link entitled:  Absurdly Hard to Kill (from
Therein are stories of five persons with lives more abundant than most cats!
One example:

Jim Bowie Was Immune to Blades

James Bowie is a 19th century American pioneer and frontier legend. The world-famous bowie knife is named after him — which is appropriate, as he was known to have a 9-inch hunting knife on him at all times, just in case. And with Bowie, those “just in case” situations came up a lot.

“That’s why I always wear my business tie.”

For instance, one day Bowie was serving as an aide to one of two opposing duelers. The actual duel was a pussyfooted thing that got resolved with a handshake. Naturally, this being the Wild West, the lack of Eastwoodian antics disappointed the audience, which promptly got rowdy and started breaking stuff. In the ruckus, Bowie was shot in the hip. Unfortunately for his random shooter, Bowie saw where the shot had come from and instantly launched himself at the man.

Panicked at the frontier hellbeast charging at him, the shooter emptied his gun at Bowie, hitting him three times. He then bashed the still-attacking Bowie on the head with the gun itself. This finally took Bowie to his knees … temporarily.

Just long enough for him to remember that he was a T-1000.

Seeing Bowie down, the nearby Major Norris Wright (an old rival of Bowie’s, who once got into a fistfight with him after denying Bowie a bank loan) saw his chance to rid the planet of Bowie once and for all. He fired, but missed. The wounded Bowie noticed, shot back and hit Wright. This is when Wright, who we were totally picturing as Dick Dastardly even without this next part, drew his cane sword and plunged it into Bowie’s chest.

Bowie Knife Fights, Fighters & Fighting Techniques
Jim Bowie, in happier days, fighting a bandit while nailed to a log.

Bowie went down, as men pierced by swords are wont to do. However, the blade sat tight in his chest. The gloating Wright couldn’t wiggle it out, so he put his foot on Bowie’s chest to pull out the sword. That was just the opening Bowie (who apparently had treated the whole “he’s wiggling a sword in my chest” thing as little more than an elaborate ruse) had been waiting for.

He grabbed Wright’s leg, dragged the screaming man down and disemboweled him with his trusty hunting knife … while the poor man’s cane sword was still very much stuck in his own chest.

G.T. Johnson II

The fight, known later as the Sandbar Fight, made Bowie’s name and guaranteed him and his knife a place in the pantheon of Wild West icons.

Later in life, when James Black created the famous version of the bowie knife made legendary by the fight, Jim adopted one … and tried it out by killing three assassins who jumped him. He would probably still be walking the earth and swinging big blades at bankers if he hadn’t happened to be in the Alamo when being in the Alamo was a really bad idea.

Go to the link above and see the others.
Are you tough?  Based on these standards, I’m sure as Hell not.


About guffaw1952

I'm a child of the 50's. libertarian, now medically-retired. I've been a certified firearms trainer, a private investigator, and worked for a major credit card company for almost 22 years. I am a proud NRA Life Member. I am a limited-government, free-market capitalist, who believes in the U.S. Constitution and the Rule of Law.


4 thoughts on “Are You TOUGH?

  1. Not me. Maybe 30 years ago, when I was young & stupid.

    Naw, not even then.

    Posted by Rev. Paul | March 13, 2012, 8:42 am
  2. I want my Mommy…

    Posted by Quizikle | March 13, 2012, 3:23 pm
  3. Yeah, if Bowie hadn’t gotten so sick the Alamo fight PROBABLY would have ended the same way.


    Bet the Mexican body count would have been a lot higher, though…

    Posted by Joel | March 17, 2012, 10:49 am

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