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You’ll Never Be A Ninja!

no ninjas“You’ll never be a ninja!”

I used to announce this, dripping with irony and humor, at my former workplace, usually to the women whose fashion choices included clogs, sandals, and stiletto heels.  All of which I thought were designed to make the loudest and most annoying sounds possible.  Repetitively.

(Unless you count the folks who sit at their desk, and unwrap their (snacks, lunch, spare socks, etc.) contained in those plastic grocery bags!  It would take them five minutes of incessant rustling just to extricate the object. Then another five to roll close the $%^*&^^$#% bag!)

Initially, we were required to wear dress shoes, but eventually, the East Coast management figured out we were largely more casual here in Arizona, and kept making up pointless contests wherein we peons could ‘win’ the privilege of dressing ‘casually’.  We went from white shirts, ties and dress Oxfords, to chinos, polo shirts and athletic shoes.  And sometimes even blue jeans!

But the women continued to largely wear noisy footwear.

When I was in my 20s, even with my physical limitations, I thought I could be pretty stealthy.  Two years of karate and all.  And I lived in athletic shoes.  Quietly.

Now, being medically retired, I live in Wranglers, colored T-shirts, and my orthopaedic shoes.  One built up to accommodate my leg disability.  And, as I put more weight on the opposite foot, that shoe tends to wear out sooner.

And now is making squeaking noises.

I’ll never be a ninja.

Karma is a bitch!

About guffaw1952

I'm a child of the 50's. libertarian, now medically-retired. I've been a certified firearms trainer, a private investigator, and worked for a major credit card company for almost 22 years. I am a proud NRA Life Member. I am a limited-government, free-market capitalist, who believes in the U.S. Constitution and the Rule of Law.


4 thoughts on “You’ll Never Be A Ninja!

  1. Ah, but you’re not thinking tactically: if only one shoe squeaks, your victims won’t bother running away – they’ll think it’s a slow, one-legged attacker. You have the element of surprise!

    Posted by Rev. Paul | July 25, 2013, 8:18 am
  2. You don’t have to sneak up on anything if they look at you and decide you are not a threat and put their head back down, then you can close in…

    I understand about the female footwear. I work in a building with tile floors in the hallways. You can hear the femailes in heels coming for a hundred yards. Creeps me out.

    Posted by Matt | July 25, 2013, 9:01 am

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