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The Thing That Most Annoys Me

controlI’m disabled.  No, that’s not it.

This is not a label I wear well.  My leg disability onset when I was 12 (Legg Perthes – wiki) and other ‘issues’ have been added to the list as I have aged.  (arthritis, diabetes, lymphoma, skin cancer).

I spent most of my adult life labeling myself as NOT disabled, and refusing such aids as a built-up shoe (which I now wear, aka ‘Ed Sullivan’-the really big shoe*).

I used to jog, work out, lift weights.  I ran the city police obstacle course.  Back and mobility issues now preclude such things.

In the past year my lower back/hip began causing me chronic pain, largely due to one leg being 3 inches shorter than the other.  My doctor expressed surprise I’d not really had any back issues until now.  And prescribed me exercises and additional pain meds. (Yea!)

And with diabetic neuropathy, walking, standing or even sitting can be painful.

I’m NOT looking for sympathy or pity.

But, I do wish to share with you my most common, frustrating annoyance.

As my right hip is fused, I cannot bend forward, or even lean very much.  This makes sitting (as at the dinner table) sometimes painful.


It’s amazing how much food can fall off a fork and into one’s lap (or more correctly, one’s belly)!

My dinner partner can lean forward and errant food can gently fall onto her plate, or the napkin in her lap.  But me?


There are even times the belly is too far and it’s hit’s my chest!

At an Italian restaurant, my shirt sometimes resembles a bad guy in the movies, with 5 hits center mass.

And I look like a complete slob – which I am not.

I spend an inordinate amount of money on stain remover – or place the napkins on my entire torso, like some bumpkin at the Mayberry diner.

Yes, I have a multitude of chronic conditions, but this is my most annoying.

I guess I’m grateful.


*ask your parents if you don’t get the reference or the joke


About guffaw1952

I'm a child of the 50's. libertarian, now medically-retired. I've been a certified firearms trainer, a private investigator, and worked for a major credit card company for almost 22 years. I am a proud NRA Life Member. I am a limited-government, free-market capitalist, who believes in the U.S. Constitution and the Rule of Law.


9 thoughts on “The Thing That Most Annoys Me

  1. Yeah, sometimes it really is the “little things” – and that’s “little” only in relation to the other, underlying things.

    Posted by Rev. Paul | January 22, 2015, 9:24 am
  2. I order extra napkins and make a bib. Doesn’t embarrass me in the slightest, and I really don’t care what others may think. My kids and relatives try to act like they are not with me. Hard for them when they are sharing the table.

    Posted by WellSeasonedFool | January 22, 2015, 2:41 pm
  3. It’s been said many times before…
    Getting old isn’t for sissies!
    I shudder to think what my clothes would look like if I couldn’t lean forward sitting. It’s bad enough now!

    Posted by KM | January 22, 2015, 2:58 pm
  4. I’m with WSF!!!

    Posted by Old NFO | January 22, 2015, 6:54 pm
  5. I had an uncle with a fused hip and a shorter leg.

    He died.

    Posted by Matt (formerly Tall tree short tope blog) | January 22, 2015, 9:17 pm

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