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This Is NONE Of Your Falcon Business!!

I was reminded of the book The Falcon and the Snowman, wherein a spy was caught (according to the official FBI story) by someone determining the suspect liked falconry (hence his clever nickname), so agents lay-in-wait for him in Coos Bay, Oregon (a big falconry place), and captured him!

Truth was (as is so often the case), is one of his friends gave him up!

(from TFB)

Brownells Expands into Tactical Falconry

First they started selling ammunition, then they opened a retail gun store, then they started selling guns online and now the logical conclusion: tactical falconry. They are also manufacturing the first ever Falcon Night Hunter Owl Conversion Kit …

Brownells, known for its incredible selection of firearms and firearm accessories, proudly announced today it has become the internet’s largest tactical falconry dealer. Brownells’ new Birds of Prey product line features hundreds of items dedicated to enabling private citizens, law enforcement officers and military personnel to engage in the ancient art of falconry for the purposes of self-defense, hunting and homeland protection.

The new line features well-trained tactical birds ranging in size from the sub-sub-compact Black-Legged Falconet up to the full-size Steller’s Sea Eagle – an offensive raptor designed for maritime operations.

For customers in arctic conditions, the Birds of Prey line offers Gyrfalcons in traditional Snowy Tundra camo as well as a special Ghostly White Limited Edition, exclusive to Brownells.

Also available are a full line of tactical bird accessories, gear and supplies.

Some of the notable, cutting edge tactical falconry products include:

  • Miniature Tactical Falcon Pants
  • Falcon Action Camera Mounts
  • PreyVision™ Falcon Spotting Scopes
  • Falcon Handler First Aid & Suture Kits
  • Tactical Falcon Treats
  • Widening Gyre® Tactical Falcon Signal Whistles
  • TalonHone® File & Pedicure Kit
  • Falcon Night Hunter Owl Conversion Kit

“Housing the falcons has been the biggest challenge for us,” said Chad Martin, Brownells COO. “Well trained as they may be, we’ve noticed they tend to get nervous around lift trucks.”

Some of the newest tactical falconry products in the line come from the innovative company Critical OperRaptor Dynamics. Miniature Adhesive Falcon OperRaptor Beards are available in several colors and sizes and are guaranteed to resist bloodstains and not jettison during flight.

Also from Critical OperRaptor Dynamicsis a large assortment of Picatinny-Compatible Falcon Perch Rails to let the tactical falconry practitioner park his bird on his favorite AR-15 handguard, scope rail or ballistic helmet interface

Yes, this an April Fools joke. No falcons were harmed in this ridiculous hijinks. Actually, we’ve never even seen a real falcon.

FALC!  Wouldn’t that have been cool?!

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About guffaw1952

I'm a child of the 50's. libertarian, now medically-retired. I've been a certified firearms trainer, a private investigator, and worked for a major credit card company for almost 22 years. I am a proud NRA Life Member. I am a limited-government, free-market capitalist, who believes in the U.S. Constitution and the Rule of Law.

Discussion

4 thoughts on “This Is NONE Of Your Falcon Business!!

  1. Someone had a great deal of time on their hands, but it IS clever.

    Posted by Rev. Paul | April 4, 2017, 8:50 am
  2. For you guys that like to fish, we have a special on surplus Navy Tactical Dolphins.

    Posted by neal | April 4, 2017, 1:24 pm

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