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The Need To Guffaw

Originally, I was going to post today regarding The Declaration of Independence (link), and suggest you all read it, being painfully aware of the list of usurpations then, and now, perpetrated by The Crown The United States government.

Then two things occurred to me.  One – I’ve already written and posted much regarding said usurpations, and Two – I was in much need of guffawing (as I’m certain you are)!

With that in mind, here are some seasonal cartoons, some funny, some less funny:

flag

fireworksfootlong

statesHAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY TO YOU ALL, AND GOD BLESS THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!

h/t Dave the mechanic

Father’s Day 2015

2014-03-19 15.57.18

 

So, it’s another Father’s Day.

This is my twentieth without Molly around.

My own father lost a son (my twin brother – name unknown to me), and a daughter, through a previous divorce.  He was not around to suffer the loss of Molly.  If he had been, I could have asked him how he dealt with such ephemeral matters.

I guess I know, at least in part, how he dealt – he drank and he overate.

Traits familiar to me.

Fortunately, I’m not an alcoholic and am dealing with my food issues.

If only I knew how to deal with the issue of loss.

Guess I am, in reality.  I’m still here.  And I have the love of my friends and family.

And that, my friends, is everything.

Go and hug your children and tell them you love them!  Because you never know.

Happy Independence Day, June 4!

july-4-removedThe United States Embassy enjoyed its annual 4th of July celebration on Thursday, June 4, one month early, in order to respect the upcoming Ramadhan month, which will begin on June 17 and last for one month.

US Ambassador to Indonesia Robert O. Blake and US Ambassador to ASEAN Nina Hachigian presided over the festivities, which involved brass band renditions of the Star-Spangled Banner and the Indonesian national anthem, Indonesia Raya.

In a mind-boggling gesture of official Obama Government dhimmitude, the US Embassy in Jakarta, Indonesia celebrated our sacred Independence Day holiday on June 4, so as to avoid any conflict with the month-long Ramadan celebration. Read the whole thing in the Jakarta Post HERE.

(from Old NFO)

Other reporting on the Internet indicates this was NOT done due to pressure from the Indonesian government, but simply logistics with accommodating Ramadhan.

I don’t know about YOU, but this makes me physically ill!  An embassy is defacto national territory of the nation represented.  To change our national traditions on our territory, so as not to offend, is just political correctness over the top!  –  Guffaw

SO…What Did The New Year Bring?

Let me preface this post with I don’t rarely get sick.

Seriously.

I had a minor bout of flu last Summer, for about three days.  I’ve not had a cold in YEARS!

I’d like to say it’s because of my healthy lifestyle, but, that would be a falsehood.  Because of my various ongoing ‘issues’, I get little exercise, and I eat the Standard American Diet (S.A.D.).  Pizza, bacon cheeseburgers, spaghetti (now called pasta), some beer, Mexican food.  If I eat veggies, it’s usually a salad, with Italian dressing, croutons and Parmesan cheese.

When I DO become ill, I usually don’t do it half way.  Diabetes, lymphoma, skin cancer.  And the whole fallout from that near-fatal auto accident some years back.

So, no one was more surprised than I when around Christmas, I began to wheeze upon exhaling.  Just a tiny bit, at the very end.  At first, I thought it was some fool revving his bike at 0600, while I was blogging(!) :-)

The Winter air quality in the Valley sucks – inversion, ya know!

Then, New Years Eve, I became congested, phlegmy.  No sore throat pain, just throat-clearing nonsense.  I thought it was a true cold, but, it just appears to be allergies, and reaction to the cold weather (28° F, in Phoenix this morning, cold and rainy New Years Eve Day!)

And this morning started with a minor sore throat and cough!

Guess it’s to the drug store pharmacy for Guffaw!

weezy

Having Gratitude Isn’t Always Easy

I’m in whine mode.

(I know I said at the outset that I wouldn’t use this weblog for therapy, but, hell, it’s my blog, so here goes…)

Holidays suck.

Why?  Not only do I not have any funds to get neat presents for friends and family, but, I’ve no one with whom to share the non-materialistic parts of the holidays.  One terrific couple I know gifted me with a cool assortment of cheeses and beers (including Lindeman’s raspberry ale!), and all I could give them in response was a small bag of garlic goldfish.

Hardly an even trade.

I love my sister and her kids, and her kid’s kids dearly, but going to a family celebration alone with certain people in absentia is always painful.

Now it’s the downhill slide from the New Year, to Molly’s birthday, to the anniversary of the accident, in March.

We’re told the best way to get out of this kind of funk is to create a gratitude list.  So here goes…

I’ve a roof over my head, and a working car.  Thanks to my friends!  I’m on Medicare.  I’ve disability benefits, which, while in no way am I rich, I can buy food, gas, and pay rent.  I’ve a select group of friends, both locally and on the Internet, who help out whenever they can.  Many of these friends have gone above and beyond – for years – when I am unable to give back in kind.

This must mean something.

I’m disabling comments for this post.  Because, in lieu of giving me an Internet “there-there”, or a virtual hug (or a kick in the pants), please stop for a moment and create your own gratitude list.

It helps.

More CHRISTMAS Guffaws!

treeseggnogold macsantasanta selfieAnd on the subject of SELFIES…

20141225_072509MERRY CHRISTMAS!

They’re HE-ERE!

poltergeist(No, not poltergeists.)

THE GARLIC GOLDFISH, LAUDED IN SONG AND STORY, HAVE ARRIVED!

Well,  in a cheesy story, anyhow…

It seems once-upon-a-time, there was a lad who decided to make Chex Party Mix for enhancing his Christmas cheer.  And it came to pass.  And it was good.  But at a Christmas party, he noticed that most folks were being selective in what they ate from the mix of Chex cereals, peanuts, pretzels and Pepperidge Farm Cheddar Cheese Goldfish Crackers.  SO…

When it came time to make a subsequent batch, rather then spend all the extra money on the flotsam and jetsam which was being judiciously avoided, he just bought the goldfish crackers.  DUH!

And not only was it good, it was BETTER!

And a Christmas tradition was born!

When I was employed, I used to bring gallons of the stuff into work.  Beginning after Thanksgiving.  People would approach me in September and ask, “Are you making goldfish this year for Christmas?”

The traditional Chex Mix recipe calls for an assortment of cereal and snack goodies, marinated in a couple tablespoons of Worcestershire sauce and margarine, dashed with a bit of garlic powder, then baked until crispy.

I’m rarely subtle.

I modified the recipe to a half stick of margarine and enough Worcestershire sauce to make about 1/2 inch deep in the bottom of a frying pan.  Heat moderately until simmering.  Add garlic powder to taste.  I usually add a healthy dose.  (Suffice it to say we don’t have a vampire problem.)  Then coat the crackers until they soak up all the sauce, and bake @ 350-375, turning often until dry and crispy.  It’s okay if a couple burn a bit.  Those are the BEST!

Serve with ice cold beer or soda, and watch the garlicphiles come out!  They are hot immediately out of the oven – it’s wise to let them cool a bit.

goldfishENJOY!

 

 

Seasonal Humor

 

It’s been awhile since we GUFFAWED, so here goes…

elfelvisgoregpshanukkah

Halloween 2014

halloween frazetta

by Frank Frazetta

Halloween was probably my favorite holiday – as a child.  When else can I go out at night, largely unescorted after I reached school-age, and extort goodies from as many neighbors as I could, all whilst my identity was hidden!

Living in a city-locked white-bread college town, possible dangers were negligible, and we could get popcorn balls and caramel apples along with the usual  candy bars and such.  I even remember returning home on one occasion to get a second bag!

Then, I became a teen, and my interests lie in other than candy…

Fast-forward to fatherhood, and escorting my tiny daughter in her princess costume to a few neighbors.  This evolved to letting her go out by herself, in costumes she herself had sewn and designed (Jean Grey from the XMen, for example).  Dad got into the act at work, oft winning department costume contests, using makeup, wigs, even shaving my head and/or face a couple of times to make a costume character come together!

After the accident, the holiday lost it’s appeal.  I dressed up a couple times at work – but my heart wasn’t in it.

I don’t even give out candy.  Getting up and down to answer the door is just too time consuming and physically difficult.

And besides, Jean Grey doesn’t stop by, anymore.

Do They Have A Fourth-Of-July In England?

Of course they do, you nit, it’s just not INDEPENDENCE DAY!

Here, we celebrate our freedom from government-imposed tyranny!

theo3

courtesy of Theo Spark

…or perhaps not.

(In addition to the constant video and audio surveillance, warrantless searches, police overreaching, Internet spying, illegal detentions, eminent domain theft, inability to defend ourselves, welfare statism, forced unionization, ad infinitum – ad nauseum.)

REGARDLESS, HAVE A HAPPY AND SAFE INDEPENDENCE DAY!  I plan to read the Declaration of Independence aloud today, in it’s entirety, before doing so is also banned! – Guffaw

"One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas - how he got in my pajamas I dunno!" - Groucho Marx as Captain Spaulding in Animal Crackers

This election is not about who gets voted off the island.
It’s about who is at the tiller of this Republic’s Ship of State. - Guffaw

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1. ALL GUNS ARE ALWAYS LOADED.

2. NEVER POINT YOUR MUZZLE AT SOMETHING YOU ARE NOT WILLING TO DESTROY.

3. KEEP YOUR FINGER OFF THE TRIGGER UNTIL YOUR SIGHTS ARE ON THE TARGET AND YOU ARE READY TO SHOOT.

4. KNOW YOUR TARGET AND WHAT'S BEYOND.

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FEAR

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." - Bene Gesserit, from Frank Herbert's Dune

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