archives

humor

This category contains 155 posts

For Those Just Arriving From The Equator

Because everyone else over 2 years old knows!

h/t The Feral Irishman

And Now, For Something Completely Different…

(apologies to Monty Python fans who thought this post was about them!)

Long time readers (all 6 of you) probably remember I was once an amateur/semi-professional magician, and that magic is a memory of my youth that warms my heart.  With that in mind, please enjoy the following:

(BTW, Harrison Ford uses language NSFW!)

h/t Doc in Yuma

Guffaws, Please!

It’s been quite a while since I posted something FUNNY.

With that in mind, please enjoy the following…

worry

work

witch

who

websites

 

h/t Dave

Minus Another Firesign

It was reported 0619 that we lost yet another member of The Firesign Theatre comedy troupe.

This time, it’s PHIL AUSTIN, the voice of Private Nick Danger – Third Eye

Phil Austin, dies at 74; voice of Firesign Theatre’s Nick Danger (link)

Even though I was growing up ‘in the 60’s and 70’s’, I was never a drug culture kind of guy.  But, that didn’t mean that I didn’t appreciate their humor.  (Sometimes, alcohol was involved, though!)  Being a fan of PI fiction and wanting to become one (I eventually did) added to the joy brought by The Firesign Theatre.

RIP Phil.

I guess we’re all eventually bozos on this bus, eh?

h/t Dave the mechanic, LA Times

Florida Man Caught On Video Dancing Atop Deputy’s Cruiser

Man claimed he was threatened by vampires, authorities say

 

In the opinion of blog contributor/reader Tomi…

I would like to point out, that he was apparently successful in scaring away any vampires in the area.  But did he get any thanks?  No!
It’s a shame that such a public-minded citizen would be arrested for his efforts!!
(Methinks he was probably “attacked” by several “Vampires” a bit before the incident.  You know, the kind made of tequila, tomato & citrus juices…)
I’ve never had such a concoction.  It does sound lethal.  Or otherworldly…
h/t Tomi, Orlando WKMG

Ed Sullivan II !

The really big shoe, the sequel!

I’ve been in need for a replacement big shoe for over seven months, now.  Bought the shoes, but simply didn’t have the funds to get the orthopedic build-up needed.

Until a couple weeks ago.

I now present to you, Ed Sullivan II, the sequel!  :-)

20150522_081833Funny how the shoes wear-out on the inside, and I started walking crooked without even knowing.  These new shoes are like having new legs!

HUZZAH!

♫ Workin’ At The Car Wash, Yeah! ♫

correction –  the COW wash!

SO…I come downstairs having concluded a short nap the other day, and I hear the water running.

NOT in the washer; NOT the downstairs bathroom toilet refilling.

But, running.  Forcefully.

And I knew no one else was downstairs.

This warranted immediate further investigation.

And THIS is what I saw…

20150424_093346A wooden tcotchke of my roommates, in the likeness of a cow, being washed in the kitchen sink!

(This had been sitting, with additional bric-a-brac, on the window ledge above the sink.)

Curiouser and curiouser…

Further forensic investigation determined the kitten (who has recently discovered she can occupy the kitchen counter in our absence) had tried to climb up into the window sill, and knocked down the folk-art cow into the sink.

Then, being frightened by her action, she rushed to escape, turning on the faucet in so doing.

Damn cat!

No permanent harm done, to the art or the kitten.

And, she didn’t mean to…

See?  Innocence...

See? Innocence…

 

She’s not like the BAC (big-a**-cat) who is conspiring with the puppy to kill me!

(AND, if she damages roomie’s folk art, it’s no skin off my nose!)

:-)

Well, It’s That Time Again…

I’m feeling the need for a good few GUFFAWS!  Frankly, It’s been too long.

cubs gorilla hoa kitten lewisHope you all got some chuckles out of these! – Guffaw

Canine Of Interest!

Some time back, I wrote regarding the cat, and her predilection to walk, stand and suddenly change direction in front of a cripple (THIS cripple) whilst I trying to descend the staircase.  Or walk anywhere.  I came to the conclusion that she was trying to murder me, and, that if I were found at the bottom of the stairs, she should be considered a feline of interest!

Of course, as she has gotten older (and larger – resembling an 18″ long beanbag) these attempts have lessened.

Lulling me into a false sense of security, as though I’d been forgotten.

20150406_094310

Nothing could be further from the truth.

Enter into this equation the puppy dog.  Now just over a year old, a wiggly, wriggly, jumpy, licky, all manner of puppy.

20141024_211615

False sense, I’m tellin’ ya!

The other day, in a surprise search of her kennel, THIS was discovered:

20150405_175531

(For the uninitiated) a shiv!  A makeshift knife, manufactured through gnawing on a piece of disposed-of plastic cutlery.

Of course, she denies any complicity in the making of this implement, and continues to be all licky.  As if she and the cat aren’t in this together!  (She LOVES the cat!)

SO, if I’m found at the bottom of the stairs with such an implement imbedded in me, you know whom to question – both the cat AND the puppy!

I’M WATCHING YOU!

(Seriously, pets are the greatest!  Just ask Brigid.)

And The Darwin Award Goes To…

These clowns

gun free

(I believe the ‘and helpless’ part was photoshopped in, and unnecessary.)

Of course, they may be part of a conspiracy to lure in unwitting bank robbers to their death, but I doubt it.

h/t David Codrea

"One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas - how he got in my pajamas I dunno!" - Groucho Marx as Captain Spaulding in Animal Crackers

This election is not about who gets voted off the island.
It’s about who is at the tiller of this Republic’s Ship of State. - Guffaw

THE NOW SHAMELESS BLOGGER’S SURVIVAL FUND

Email

guffaw1952 (at) hotmail (dot) com

What ‘They’ Are Saying About Guffaw…

"Guffaw is 'controversial' " - Vietnam-era Green Beret 'Doc'

"One of my favorites, I love the old P.I. stories. They have a nice Mickey Spillane feel to them." - Siddhartha

"...an avid arms man." - Natalie

"Old Private Investigator Entertainment. OPIE" :-D - North

Liebster Blog Award

x 4 ! Thank you North, Tango Juliet, ProudHillbilly and Fill Yer Hands!

Profiles in Curry

The Book of Barkley

American Flag

Gibson

I Stand With Gibson!

Browncoat

Judy’s Salon

jatjfy (at) live (dot) com (480) 529-6133

Proud Blogfather of

Quizikle

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 387 other followers

The Four Rules

1. ALL GUNS ARE ALWAYS LOADED.

2. NEVER POINT YOUR MUZZLE AT SOMETHING YOU ARE NOT WILLING TO DESTROY.

3. KEEP YOUR FINGER OFF THE TRIGGER UNTIL YOUR SIGHTS ARE ON THE TARGET AND YOU ARE READY TO SHOOT.

4. KNOW YOUR TARGET AND WHAT'S BEYOND.

Certified EVIL!

FEAR

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." - Bene Gesserit, from Frank Herbert's Dune

Penn Jillette

“F**k Civility. Hyperbole, passion, and metaphor are beautiful parts of rhetoric. The marketplace of ideas cannot be toned down for the insane.” - Penn Jillette

Blog Stats

  • 201,609 hits

+ blog stats from the PREVIOUS Guffaw in AZ blog…

109,419

Copyright Notice

All original content on this web site is copyright (c) on date of publication by this author. All rights reserved, except that others may quote from the original content under the 'Fair Use' provisions of U.S. copyright law.

Financial Disclosure

I'm currently on disability, unable to work, and receive marginal benefits. I've been advised by SSDI I may receive some additional income. Based on their statements, I'm adding a bleg to this blog. Effective 03/06/2012. Thank you for your kindness.

In Loving Memory…

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 387 other followers