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In Need of Guffawing

Things just ain’t working right today.

My body; my sense of humor;  my computer.

Please send me a joke or a cartoon!  (the email is in the sidebar)

I NEED TO GUFFAW!

STAT!

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In need of a GUFFAW today!

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(and how his reflection somehow became his wife’s!)

Jerry Lewis RIP

By now, most of you have probably heard.

Jerry Lewis has passed.  At age 91.

Like so many comedians/comic actors he had amazing range and talent.  Some Hollywood types are a one-trick pony.  Jerry certainly wasn’t.  Have you seen King of Comedy?

After his split from straight man Dean Martin, it was publicly asked, “What’s Dean going to do?”  😛

My lovely sister was in one of his movies.  The Nutty Professor (the original in 1961) filmed exteriors on Arizona State University campus.  My sister was one of the extras!  Unfortunately, her scenes were cut!  She still adored the man.

Then, there was his long commitment to the Muscular Dystrophy charity.  How giving was this man?

I’ll leave you with this.  When I heard he had passed, I imagined him just like this, sneaking into the Supreme Being’s conference room and pantomiming again, to Count Basie…

Keep ’em laughing Jerry!

I Always Thought I Could Be A Comedian…

I didn’t necessarily WANT to be, but thought I could!

I always appreciated silly – The Marx Brothers, W.C. Fields, Abbott and Costello,‘It’s A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World’, Warner Brothers cartoons, Steve Allen. Ernie Kovacs.  Then, as I grew up, my tastes moved to The Firesign Theatre and Monty Python.  George Carlin was a god!

I remember returning from a long high school choir trip, standing in the back of the bus and mimicking Carlin’s first album for anyone who would listen.  Word for word, intonation for intonation.  The man taught me timing.

And then there’s Dennis Miller.  “I haven’t seen choreography like that since the Lee Harvey Oswald prison transfer!”  In his own words, “Viva la referencia obscura!”

I began considering doing stand-up comedy in my mid-twenties.  After all, my good friend Biff Jannuzzi (who authored the one-act play about the Lincoln assassination ‘A Booth in the Back’), did it!   Then, I met a friend of his, Tom (a buddy of his in the local little theater group), who changed my mind.  I was quick, clever with a comeback, witty, and thought I was all that.

Tom was quicker, faster with a comeback and wittier.

So, Tom was a stand-up comedian? (You ask)

Nope.

He sold used cars at one of those buy-here, pay here joints.  Jake the Snake’s Garden of Gears!  Down in the sketchy part of town.

His talent and ability was ten times mine, and he was selling cars.

It’s all a matter of perspective.

“A man has to know his limitations.” – Inspector Harry Callahan

That 70’s Show, Now In Colorado?!

You guys know I love my TV and movies.

(I don’t get out much)

And we’ve been binge-watching wherever we can, awaiting the ‘new’ season to rear it’s ugly head.  Netflix and Amazon Prime are our friends!

We recently ran across The Ranch, on Netflix.

Not a great effort, perhaps, but a good one.

Danny Masterson (Hyde from That 70’s Show) and Ashton Kutcher (Kelso, from the same) star.  With the surprising additions of Sam Elliott (for the ladies!) and Debra Winger (in case you wondered what ever happened to her!)

Prodigal son returns to the ranch, after failing at semi-professional football, to be with his younger brother and curmudgeonly father (think Red Foreman), who need help running it.

But haven’t asked…

Winger is divorced from the curmudgeon and runs a local bar – but they still hook up every so often.  After a fight.

Small Colorado Western town hi-jinks ensue.

As it’s on Netflix, there is coarse language and jokes of a sexual nature.  And, for those w/o Netflix, it’s on You Tube!

Not exactly drawing room comedy, or high drama, but kinda fun.

MST3K

(that’s GEEK for Mystery Science Theater 3000!)  😅

As most of you know, I love TV and movies.  And, being disabled (with limited funds), I am constantly on the prowl for something different to watch.

(For something to do besides hang out on the Internet.)

Some years ago, I heard about MST3K, and was lucky enough to have access to it.

THE PREMISE (wikilink)

Hard to imagine this came about from a tight crew of messed up college guys talking back to the TV while watching cheesy movies!

Now, in it’s (third?) incarnation on Netflix.

A (short) example:

If your geeky, and in need of a good guffaw, I highly recommend it.

It is NOT for the serious!  😛

 

Biological Warfare

(from The Feral Irishman)

A person “passed gas” Sunday afternoon on an American Airlines jet forcing all passengers to deplane. The incident caused nausea and headaches and complaints from passengers that they felt “ill”.

Click HERE for the story/
How sad that this reminded me of an incident from my distant past.
I was in Junior High (8th Grade?) in Mr. Procopchek’s Mechanical Drawing class.  We rotated mechanical drawing, metal shop and wood shop each semester.
And, being a shop class, it was all boys.  This was 1964-65.
And, in the middle of class, Phil Cupp cut one.  Seriously long and loud, from the back of the classroom (I almost wrote from the rear! 🙂 )
And the guys began giggling and retching, as the unseen biological cloud of death wafted it’s way toward the front of the class.
And Mr. Procopchek became more and more annoyed, asking us to keep working and to act like adults.
That is, of course, until the cloud reached his desk at the front of the class!
He made a face, cracked the windows, and told us to exit in an orderly fashion for a few minutes…
Seriously.  Chemical warfare or terrorism!
Phil was a classroom god for the next week or so.
It was that easy to impress junior high boys.

Eons Ago, In a Gun Store…

More specifically, Don’s Sport Shop, in Scottsdale…

Dave the mechanic and I were ‘window shopping’ (both being young and relatively poor, there was no way either of us could afford to purchase a firearm).

And we were checking out all the related gear, as well (hunting, fishing, camping), just because.

And there is was, a Jimmy Stewart Game Caller!

We spent subsequent hours (days, weeks, years) sharing with each other our impressions of Jimmy calling in game:

“A quack!, a quack! here duck, here duck!”

(Sadly, neither one of us could do even a passable imitation of Mr. Stewart – not that it mattered.)   😛

We re-visited Don’s two or three times a year, for many following years, always recharging our memories and chuckles regarding Jimmy’s Game Caller.

During one subsequent visit, we spotted it again on the shelf, and determined that the product was actually named the JOHNNY Stewart game caller!  As it had been printed in a script font – and we were young and not paying much attention, anyway – we hadn’t noticed the difference!

This failed to stop us from continuing our poor imitations of Jimmy for a number of years.

Boys just gotta have fun!

(FTC – neither Don’s, nor Jimmy Stewart (sorry Johnny Stewart!) gave us anything.  Go away.  I remember buying ammunition in later years, but I drove by the other day and it was named Don’s something else.  And Don’s Sport Shop doesn’t have a site on Google!  Tempus Fugit.)

“To SELL, Of Course!”

(from TFB, in part)

They say there’s a sucker born every minute.  No where does this seem to be more true than in the firearms industry.  Poorly thought of add-ons, holsters, ammunition design, etc.

I remember Col. Cooper being asked (with regard to the latest variant of some pistol, which certainly was not necessary), “Jeff, what’s it for?  To sell, of course!” was his reply.

I’m certain you can think of many others, as well as selections of the ‘good’ variety that didn’t get marketed properly and went away.

Such is the nature of business…

This Is NONE Of Your Falcon Business!!

I was reminded of the book The Falcon and the Snowman, wherein a spy was caught (according to the official FBI story) by someone determining the suspect liked falconry (hence his clever nickname), so agents lay-in-wait for him in Coos Bay, Oregon (a big falconry place), and captured him!

Truth was (as is so often the case), is one of his friends gave him up!

(from TFB)

Brownells Expands into Tactical Falconry

First they started selling ammunition, then they opened a retail gun store, then they started selling guns online and now the logical conclusion: tactical falconry. They are also manufacturing the first ever Falcon Night Hunter Owl Conversion Kit …

Brownells, known for its incredible selection of firearms and firearm accessories, proudly announced today it has become the internet’s largest tactical falconry dealer. Brownells’ new Birds of Prey product line features hundreds of items dedicated to enabling private citizens, law enforcement officers and military personnel to engage in the ancient art of falconry for the purposes of self-defense, hunting and homeland protection.

The new line features well-trained tactical birds ranging in size from the sub-sub-compact Black-Legged Falconet up to the full-size Steller’s Sea Eagle – an offensive raptor designed for maritime operations.

For customers in arctic conditions, the Birds of Prey line offers Gyrfalcons in traditional Snowy Tundra camo as well as a special Ghostly White Limited Edition, exclusive to Brownells.

Also available are a full line of tactical bird accessories, gear and supplies.

Some of the notable, cutting edge tactical falconry products include:

  • Miniature Tactical Falcon Pants
  • Falcon Action Camera Mounts
  • PreyVision™ Falcon Spotting Scopes
  • Falcon Handler First Aid & Suture Kits
  • Tactical Falcon Treats
  • Widening Gyre® Tactical Falcon Signal Whistles
  • TalonHone® File & Pedicure Kit
  • Falcon Night Hunter Owl Conversion Kit

“Housing the falcons has been the biggest challenge for us,” said Chad Martin, Brownells COO. “Well trained as they may be, we’ve noticed they tend to get nervous around lift trucks.”

Some of the newest tactical falconry products in the line come from the innovative company Critical OperRaptor Dynamics. Miniature Adhesive Falcon OperRaptor Beards are available in several colors and sizes and are guaranteed to resist bloodstains and not jettison during flight.

Also from Critical OperRaptor Dynamicsis a large assortment of Picatinny-Compatible Falcon Perch Rails to let the tactical falconry practitioner park his bird on his favorite AR-15 handguard, scope rail or ballistic helmet interface

Yes, this an April Fools joke. No falcons were harmed in this ridiculous hijinks. Actually, we’ve never even seen a real falcon.

FALC!  Wouldn’t that have been cool?!

"Round up the usual suspects."

In Loving Memory…