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♫ Why Can’t A Woman, Be More Like A Man?♫

We’ve all wondered that, haven’t we? (especially after listening to ♫My Fair Lady♫?!)

Seriously, on a more earthly fashion, there are differences.

Witness THIS maker of equality…

Product Details

While I have known a number of woman who have demonstrated their proclivity to ‘void’ in the wildness,

this device seems to take it up a notch!

How do I know about such a device?  Knowledgeable women have shared such info with me.

And now, with age and infirmity, sometimes, I’ve a need for such a device!  😦

(fortunately, the come in pink, lavender, and – for the girl/guy on the go – KHAKI !)

(PS – I get NOTHING. FTC, go away!)

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Guffaw, Now PLEASE!

I sometimes get frustrated with the ‘stuff of life’.  I’m disabled, on a small disability income, my 15-year old Oldsmobile is more or less parked for lack of funds for needed repairs, and with my disabilities regarding walking, standing or even sitting it is sometimes difficult or painful.  And a little less than two years ago I lost my home of 18 years.

Yes, sometimes I whine about other stuff, too.

BUT, I try to keep a stiff upper lip.  And keep chipping away at those things that I can do something about.

My stand-alone desktop computer has been waylayed for a little over a month.  For most folks having their home computer not functioning correctly is an annoyance, but in the grand scheme of things it’s not that big a deal.

BUT, not being very ambulatory, and now even less mobile, it became readily apparent my computer is a window to the outside world.  My email, and 3-year-old blog being it’s primary functions.  I can talk back to the TV, but it rarely responds.

FORTUNATELY, my roommate J loaned me an old laptop she wasn’t using for me to keep up with the day’s events and continue to publish my blog (such as it is) daily, as I’ve done since March 6, 2011.

For this I am forever grateful.

Being less-than-competent with regard to computer/Internet stuff, I’ve not been able to diagnose the problem with my computer, determine if it was even repairable, or what the cost might be.

J left town to visit her daughter and become a tourist for the holiday weekend, and I’m left as the dog wrangler again.  This is okay, because I love the dogs (and the cat – more or less) and it gives me more time to try to move files to the laptop and play at fixing my old computer.

I DID IT!

Somehow, something inadvertently changed a couple of settings (not me!) – I changed them back (with about 100 missteps in the interim) and now the computer connects to the Internet, again!!

HUZZAH!

I’m using my original machine to write this!

This may not be watching a rose bloom, or being in love, or a new car, but DAMN I’m pleased!

pleased frogAND, I’ve been able to get my meds down, and an anxiously awaiting approval from the Leukemia, Lymphomia Society for Tuesdays go-ahead.

Time will tell. 

 

The ‘Latest’

Well, today I get to pick up my ‘films (‘from my last MRI and PET scan) and deliver them to the surgical center miles away, wherein this coming Monday I get to have another MRI (using those as maps) to obtain yet another MRI and lymph node biopsy.

The hope is the diversity of the samples will provide a better sample with which to produce a more precise chemotherapy cocktail with which to treat the lymphoma.

Hopefully, this can be concocted and administered later this week, or early next week.

(Just out of curiosity, why do the doctor’s rely on their patients to be messengers-some of whom are weak and ill?)

While they are in there, they they will also be doing an angiogram – just because they found a tiny problem they want to check.

Things aren’t complicated enough…

 

Biological Warfare

(from The Feral Irishman)

A person “passed gas” Sunday afternoon on an American Airlines jet forcing all passengers to deplane. The incident caused nausea and headaches and complaints from passengers that they felt “ill”.

Click HERE for the story/
How sad that this reminded me of an incident from my distant past.
I was in Junior High (8th Grade?) in Mr. Procopchek’s Mechanical Drawing class.  We rotated mechanical drawing, metal shop and wood shop each semester.
And, being a shop class, it was all boys.  This was 1964-65.
And, in the middle of class, Phil Cupp cut one.  Seriously long and loud, from the back of the classroom (I almost wrote from the rear! 🙂 )
And the guys began giggling and retching, as the unseen biological cloud of death wafted it’s way toward the front of the class.
And Mr. Procopchek became more and more annoyed, asking us to keep working and to act like adults.
That is, of course, until the cloud reached his desk at the front of the class!
He made a face, cracked the windows, and told us to exit in an orderly fashion for a few minutes…
Seriously.  Chemical warfare or terrorism!
Phil was a classroom god for the next week or so.
It was that easy to impress junior high boys.

And The Adventure Continues, Part Ocho 

So Monday the contractor returned, closed the hole in the downstairs ceiling, and replaced the upstairs bathroom floor (they had taken a divot earlier to test for asbestos – none found!)

He returned yesterday morning to give the ceiling a second coat.

Everything looks GREAT!  FINALLY!

paint still drying…

previously

(the leak began in MAY!)

I’m still dealing with my enlarged calf, visiting my regular doctor again today. And the vascular guy again next Monday.

At least the shower is no longer leaking. 

But, the adventure does continue. The one working vehicle (J’s 2006 Honda Element) has a battery which is dying. It still starts the car, but could be gone any day now.

$100-250 at most auto parts places.

And I don’t get paid until mid week next week.

It’s always something… 

Sigh.

And The ‘Adventure’ Continues, Part Seis(?)

In our last episode (spoken aloud in Don Adams’ Maxwell Smart voice…)

It was determined I do NOT have a blot clot in my lower right leg (twice!), although the leg remains enlarged.  Not painful, but engorged.  And hard(?) in spots.

I’ve an appointment later in the month with a vascular specialist.  Who knows?

The rash I had has largely dissipated (after THREE 5 day courses of Prednisone – thank you very much!) as well as a slow, agonizing decrease of the itch that accompanied it.  Rash gone, still itching.

But,  the itch has FINALLY gone away.

Roomie continues to suffer from her chronic health problems associated with asthma, COPD, congestive heart failure and emphysema.  And NO, she had never smoked tobacco!

She had, however, worked in plant greenhouses and beauty salons (with many of their toxic chemicals) for most of her adult life.

And she is continuing to recover from her shoulder surgery and is getting physical therapy for the same.

Will she be returning to work?  Who knows?

We could use the money – but at further risk to her health?

YES!  The shower leak has been repaired!  The hole in the living room ceiling?  Not so much.

roughly 3′ x 4′

Apparently, the contractor and the insurance adjuster disagree regarding the amount to be paid.  Or WHEN this is to be done…

I still possess the dead Oldsmobile in my parking space, now growing spiderwebs.  There are ‘complications’ with selling it (not to mention I’ve been offered much less than I thought it worth!)  Perhaps donation IS the best route(?)

AND, just to add to the fun – during daylight hours one may not exit the front door to the townhouse in safety.  The bees who have taken up residence in the tall bush adjacent to the door have become, well, more populous and hyper-vigilant!

Fortunately, this is an HOA problem.

Unfortunately, this is an HOA problem.

When this will get resolved?  Who knows?

(I’ll just walk around the back way to get the mail, thank you very much!)

The ‘Adventure’ continues…

Memorable Movie Mistakes

I’ve not been ‘on a date’ in some time.  It’s simply a matter of logistics – I’ve no extraneous funds and my car is a beater with no air conditioning.

The fact that I don’t travel is any circles with available women has nothing to do with it!

😛

I was thinking this morning about a few of my more memorable dates in the distant past.  Some with fondness; some not-so-much.

I used to like to attend the cinema.  There were many first-run films each week, lots of theaters from which to choose, and who doesn’t like sitting in the dark with a young woman? (this was in my 20’s – before I had been married, and subsequently divorced).

Now, of course, there are fewer movies and movie houses.  And one may sit at home in one’s skivvies and watch videos until the cows come home, with beer, pizza, and (if one is so lucky) company.

AND, one may pause to go to the bathroom!

Times have changed.

ANYWAY, I remembered a couple of dates.  One was a later Hitchcock film.  I did (and DO love Alfred Hitchcock).  My date said she did as well.  Were post-date antics in the offing?

Sadly NO.  The film was Frenzy.  A film of a serial killer rapist, made in London.  I think it was the first time Hitch actually exposed breasts on film.  Following a violent rape and strangulation.  Hardly something to arouse a normal young woman to later romance.

Sigh.

Another time, a former girlfriend returned to town and looked me up.  We went out a few times, and I had hope of rekindling the romance.  But, it was not to be…

She had mentioned she liked Burt Reynolds.  There was a new film out with him in it.  I thought “Hey!  Maybe this will get things going again?”

Hardly.  The film was Deliverance.  You remember – dueling banjos, homosexual rape?

I just couldn’t get a break!

(as an aside, the consummate actor Ned Beatty was the rape victim here.  I’ve wondered about the audition…“Hey, pages 18 and 19 are missing?  Don’t worry about it, Ned.)

And The ‘Adventure’ Continues…

(in our last episode…)

Let’s see…Heart pain (NOT!), a rash, leg edema, J’s health, water from the upstairs shower into the downstairs…

THAT’S IT!

(It’s been a busy month!)

Shower leakage!  We’ve not taken a shower for seven days.  Not that we don’t want to.  Water began coming through the ceiling into the downstairs, and continuing to bathe in that manner just seemed imprudent.

My washcloth and I have become VERY close.

Call the insurance company, you say?  Sure, why not?  Not having the $500 deductible at hand was a bit of an issue.  Fortunately, my very kind and generous Sister stepped up with a surprise gift allowing us to begin the process of again being able to get clean!  Thanks, EL!

Of course, the process is never easy.  The plumber says first they must check for residual moisture and damage before beginning.  And, due to the age of J’s home, asbestos. 

ANOTHER $400.

Fortunately, the company who removes the ceiling (and maybe the shower pan) tells us they can eat that cost (the insurance does not cover it!)!  Whew!

This morning comes the asbestos test.  If negative, the above company may remove the ceiling w/o further adieu, and the plumbers may begin repair this afternoon.

If not…perhaps another day or two of asbestos remediation is involved.

Sigh.

At least things are in process.

Thanks, again, Sis!

As to the other ongoing issues…

J’s health.  She has many health issues, some of which are chronic.  And is seeing many physicians monthly.  She IS recovering nicely from her rotator cuff surgery, and is currently involved in physical therapy for the same.  Our thanks to you all again for your kind wishes and help!

NO heart or chest pain.  The hospital said I was diagnosed ‘non-cardiac chest pain’ – which means they don’t know, could have been gas or muscle-related.

The rash.  I finished my second 5-day run of prednisone, and the rash returned.  Going to the pharmacy today to get a third course of graduated prednisone – so when I stop, it tapers off (per the Doctor).  If that doesn’t do it, then onto a specialist.

Sigh.

The leg edema.  I completed a 10-day course of broad spectrum antibiotics, and it seems to have improved the appearance and size of the leg remarkably!  The Doctor has me picking up a diuretic to hopefully complete the job.  Coupled with orange juice.

The proximate cause of either the rash or edema?  They’ve no idea.

I’m posting this early, as the itching kept me awake, even with the loratadine I’m taking.  Anxiously awaiting the pharmacy opening @ 0900 to obtain the additional meds.

Well, that’s it from us here in The Valley of the Sun.  Hope you all are doing better than we?

“I’ve Fallen, And I Can’t Get Up!”™

… and I’m not even an old Jewish woman! 

(My blogpost title is marked as a trademark, as the phrase is now legally linked with Life Alert™, the ad where I stole the phrase.)

(Yeah, yeah, political correctness – watch the original ad!)

One of my jobs is to retrieve the mail. We share one of those communal mailboxes about 100 steps from our front door. (I miss having a house with a mail chute built – in! But I digress.)

So last night I go out to retrieve the mail. Undoubtedly ads, solicitations, bills and perhaps collection notices, all for our enjoyment.

I noticed there was a significant breeze, cool, but not cold.

And no one else was outside to enjoy it. 

On my return trip, I did exactly that. I tripped. I suspect ‘Ed Sullivan’ (the really big shoe)* caught on one of those dividers they place in concrete sidewalks.

And down I went, pitching forward, my eyeglasses flying forward.

The ‘good news’ is I reverted to old karate training (from a Bruce Tegner book?) Instead of putting my arms out straight (ensuring a break or sprain), I placed them as if going down in a push-up – to absorb some of the shock. (Having a fused right hip, I am unable to bend all my joints and roll.)

I hit the sidewalk, felt some pain in my palms, and left ribs.

(Ok, so I didn’t do it perfectly. It’s only been 50 years or so.)

I rolled on my left side and began inventory. Hands, wrists, arms, no apparent sprains or breaks. Pain in my ribs, just below my left chest. It hurt a little when I breathe.   Palms hurt, but not any abrasions.  Glasses unscratched and unbent!

Now for the fun part. For a few years now, getting up off a flat surface has been challenging. To say the least. If I have foot stools, or something low and stable I can pull myself up on, incrementally, I’m golden.

If things are just flat, not so much.  (not being able to bend like normal folks, and having less body strength in my arms and left leg)

And, while I did yell aloud upon impact (a kiai?), no one came outside to investigate. It was 1940 hours, and dark.

What to do, what to do? 

I considered, for about two seconds, crawling across the sidewalk, to a narrow grassy area to the colored gravel adjacent to the townhouse stucco wall. There, using the wall (I reasoned) I could get a purchase and pull myself up!

Crawling, especially across gravel with sore ribs didn’t have much appeal to me, which is why I only thought about it for a couple seconds.

I know! I’Il call J., my roommate! She had said she was going to join me downstairs shortly.

Of course, sometimes she goes back to her nap, and turns off her phone! (911?)

I called, and she answered. She is recovering from shoulder surgery – there is no way she can pull me up…

I explained to her what had happened, and asked her to bring the aluminum patio chair out to me, that it might work for me to get myself up.

No dice! It was to high for me to get enough leverage. I suggested she knock on neighbor’s doors, until she found some help. Failing that, it was 911 for sure!

I think it was on her third try. Neighbors we didn’t know (and how sad is that?), a nice young man who was active in martial arts and sports medicine (a Twilight Zone moment, to be sure!) came, assessed me before touching me, then lifted me to my feet as if it were no big deal(!)  He walked J. and I to our door, not letting go until he was certain I was ambulatory.  He asked where all the blood was from – I didn’t know there had been any!  He said I should get ‘checked out’ (as if I were in my eighties and broke my hip).  I thanked him profusely.

Turns out I led with my chin**.  A couple of abrasions that wouldn’t stop bleeding until I shaved off the kung-fu beard! (A disappointment for J.)  I may have to grow it back. We’ll see.

Blood? What blood?

The never-ending bleed

 

 

 

 

 

 

And I have had broken ribs a couple of times. These are only bruised. I take pain meds for ongoing conditions, anyway. No biggie.  Unless I cough, sneeze, reach for something, bend – you get the idea!

Getting old ain’t for sissies, no siree!

 

*Ed Sullivan was a variety showman on TV from the late 40’s ’til the early 70’s.  He used to say, “We have a really big show – pronouncing it as shoe.  Youngsters, ask your parents!  I wear a built up shoe on my right leg – hence the clever nickname.

**Faces are VERY vascular (they can bleed a lot).

Time Bomb Computer (A First-World Problem Story)

I own an HP Pavilion Touchscreen, with an AMD Athlon™ II X2 235e Processor 2.70 GHz 400 GB of RAM (3.75 GB usable) 64 bit operating system, x-64 based processor.  She has a 20″ flat, touch screen, with a cordless keyboard and mouse.

I purchased her on-line, refurbished (2011?)  And she has served me very well.

Last week, I received a message one of the software protection programs I purchased after-the-fact was in need of annual renewal.

And, frankly, with all that’s going on here (roomie surgery, less income, etc.), I don’t have the funds.  (This is NOT a bleg.)

The next day my computer gave me an error message:  HARD DRIVE FAILURE IMMINENT!  PLEASE BACKUP YOUR FILES (yadda, yadda, yadda).  I went back to using the computer, as I do not regularly back it up, and have no discs with which to back it up, anyway.

Besides, what if it was just some malware file from the software company, or elsewhere?

The computer has continued to function, as usual.

Yesterday, there was a blip in my Wi-Fi service (Cox, who knew?).  I reset the router (which is inconveniently downstairs).  Upon my return, there was the same message I had received a week ago.

I again accessed my computer, and downloaded a free hard drive analysis program.

The program confirmed my hard drive’s demise was imminent indeed!

Now what?

I have no funds or credit, so buying a new (or well-used) computer is out of the question.  Of course, getting it repaired also falls under these criteria.

I CAN check my email and blog from my smartphone or my cheap, Chinese tablet, with some difficulty.

Obviously, not my first choices.

What to do, what to do?

I will continue to blog, daily, changing the quote, cartoon, beauty and YouTube posting as I can.  Who knows – maybe she won’t fail until I somehow find a way to get another PC?  🙂

(I know, I’m an optimist!)

(FTC – HP, Athlon, and Cox have given me nothing, save years of good service (Cox, less so.).  I paid for the computer, and pay for Wi-Fi.)

"Round up the usual suspects."

In Loving Memory…