… and I’m not even an old Jewish woman!
(My blogpost title is marked as a trademark, as the phrase is now legally linked with Life Alert™, the ad where I stole the phrase.)
(Yeah, yeah, political correctness – watch the original ad!)
One of my jobs is to retrieve the mail. We share one of those communal mailboxes about 100 steps from our front door. (I miss having a house with a mail chute built – in! But I digress.)
So last night I go out to retrieve the mail. Undoubtedly ads, solicitations, bills and perhaps collection notices, all for our enjoyment.
I noticed there was a significant breeze, cool, but not cold.
And no one else was outside to enjoy it.
On my return trip, I did exactly that. I tripped. I suspect ‘Ed Sullivan’ (the really big shoe)* caught on one of those dividers they place in concrete sidewalks.
And down I went, pitching forward, my eyeglasses flying forward.
The ‘good news’ is I reverted to old karate training (from a Bruce Tegner book?) Instead of putting my arms out straight (ensuring a break or sprain), I placed them as if going down in a push-up – to absorb some of the shock. (Having a fused right hip, I am unable to bend all my joints and roll.)
I hit the sidewalk, felt some pain in my palms, and left ribs.
(Ok, so I didn’t do it perfectly. It’s only been 50 years or so.)
I rolled on my left side and began inventory. Hands, wrists, arms, no apparent sprains or breaks. Pain in my ribs, just below my left chest. It hurt a little when I breathe. Palms hurt, but not any abrasions. Glasses unscratched and unbent!
Now for the fun part. For a few years now, getting up off a flat surface has been challenging. To say the least. If I have foot stools, or something low and stable I can pull myself up on, incrementally, I’m golden.
If things are just flat, not so much. (not being able to bend like normal folks, and having less body strength in my arms and left leg)
And, while I did yell aloud upon impact (a kiai?), no one came outside to investigate. It was 1940 hours, and dark.
What to do, what to do?
I considered, for about two seconds, crawling across the sidewalk, to a narrow grassy area to the colored gravel adjacent to the townhouse stucco wall. There, using the wall (I reasoned) I could get a purchase and pull myself up!
Crawling, especially across gravel with sore ribs didn’t have much appeal to me, which is why I only thought about it for a couple seconds.
I know! I’Il call J., my roommate! She had said she was going to join me downstairs shortly.
Of course, sometimes she goes back to her nap, and turns off her phone! (911?)
I called, and she answered. She is recovering from shoulder surgery – there is no way she can pull me up…
I explained to her what had happened, and asked her to bring the aluminum patio chair out to me, that it might work for me to get myself up.
No dice! It was to high for me to get enough leverage. I suggested she knock on neighbor’s doors, until she found some help. Failing that, it was 911 for sure!
I think it was on her third try. Neighbors we didn’t know (and how sad is that?), a nice young man who was active in martial arts and sports medicine (a Twilight Zone moment, to be sure!) came, assessed me before touching me, then lifted me to my feet as if it were no big deal(!) He walked J. and I to our door, not letting go until he was certain I was ambulatory. He asked where all the blood was from – I didn’t know there had been any! He said I should get ‘checked out’ (as if I were in my eighties and broke my hip). I thanked him profusely.
Turns out I led with my chin**. A couple of abrasions that wouldn’t stop bleeding until I shaved off the kung-fu beard! (A disappointment for J.) I may have to grow it back. We’ll see.
Blood? What blood?
The never-ending bleed
And I have had broken ribs a couple of times. These are only bruised. I take pain meds for ongoing conditions, anyway. No biggie. Unless I cough, sneeze, reach for something, bend – you get the idea!
Getting old ain’t for sissies, no siree!
*Ed Sullivan was a variety showman on TV from the late 40’s ’til the early 70’s. He used to say, “We have a really big show – pronouncing it as shoe. Youngsters, ask your parents! I wear a built up shoe on my right leg – hence the clever nickname.
**Faces are VERY vascular (they can bleed a lot).
(from the Art of Manliness, in part)
With the confirmation of General James Mattis as Secretary of Defense, the “Mad Dog’s” no-holds-barred quotes have been making their way around, and he’s been compared to another eminently quotable officer: General George S. Patton. But with all due respect to Mattis, there’s no one truly like the original. Below you’ll find a collection of “Old Blood and Guts’” unapologetic musings on duty, action, and the brutal art of war.
“There is nothing more pathetic and futile than a general who lives long enough to explain a defeat.”
“You are not beaten until you admit it.”
“War is the only place where a man lives.”
“Do your duty as you see it, and damn the consequences.”
“Success in war depends on the golden rules of war: speed, simplicity, and boldness.”
“The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.”
“It’s the unconquerable soul of man and not the nature of the weapon he uses which insures victory.”
“Anything done vigorously is better than nothing done tardily.”
“Officers must assert themselves by example and by voice.”
“We can conquer only by attacking.”
“There is no approved solution to any tactical situation.”
“There is only one tactical principle which is not subject to change. It is, ‘To use the means at hand to inflict the maximum amount of wounds, death, and destruction on the enemy in the minimum amount of time.’”
“Battle is the most magnificent competition in which a human being can indulge. It brings out all that is best; it removes all that is base.”
“It is easy to die for nothing; one should die for something.”
“As long as you attack them, they cannot find the time to attack you.”
“One continues to learn about war by practicing war.”
“The world has no use for a defeated soldier and nothing too good for a victor.”
“Never stop being ambitious. You have but one life, live it to the fullest of glory and be willing to pay any price.”
“Always do more than is required of you.”
“Punishment is not for the benefit of the sinner; it is for the salvation of his comrades.”
“Everything is a final heat.”
“War is simple, direct, and ruthless. It takes a simple, direct, and ruthless man to wage it.”
“By perseverance, and study, and eternal desire, any man can become great.”
“The unleavened bread of knowledge will sustain life, but it is dull fare unless it is leavened with the yeast of personality.”
“Do not regard what you do only as preparation for doing the same thing more fully or better at some later time. Nothing is ever done twice. There is no next time.”
“There is but one international law: the best Army!”
“It is better to live in the limelight for a year than in the wings forever.”
“If a man thinks war long enough, it is bound to have a good effect on him.”
“Haste and speed are not synonymous.”
“The pacifist actually refuses to defend what defends him; his country. In the final analysis this is the most basic immoral position.”
“Many soldiers are led to faulty ideas of war by knowing too much about too little.”
“Cowardice is a disease and it must be checked before it becomes epidemic.”
“War is an art and as such it is not susceptible of explanation by fixed formula.”
“In peace, the scholar flourishes. In war, the soldier dies. So it comes about that we view our soldiers through the eyes of scholars and attribute to them scholarly virtues.”
“The greatest privilege of citizenship is to be able to freely bear arms under one’s country’s flag.”
“Throughout history wars have been lost because of armies not crossing rivers.”
“War is a killing business. You must spill the enemy’s blood or they will spill yours.”
“To be a successful soldier, you must know history.”
“The hardest thing a general has to do is to wait for the battle to start after all of the orders have been given.”
“Never make excuses whether or not it is your fault.”
“If brevity is the soul of wit, then repetition is the heart of instruction.”
“As long as man exists, there will be war. The only way to avoid trouble is to have the best Army, Navy, and Air Force.”
“The important thing in any organization is the creation of a soul, which is based on pride, in the unit.”
“Americans do not surrender.”
The post The Maxims of General George S. Patton appeared first on The Art of Manliness.
Now, I am not in favor of war. I don’t think any sane person is. I like the libertarian non-aggression idea.
This does not mean I’m a pacifist. I carry a sidearm for personal protection. I believe in defending American ideals, interests and citizenry as needed. But generally, this means the ‘bad guy’ needs to strike first.
Then we need to respond professionally, as committed warriors. With clear rules of engagement and end game goals.
Obviously, General Mattis is not General Patton. He is more intellectual. But he still understands the objective is to end the war.
Si vis pacem, para bellum – Plato (and others)
Today’s award goes to a bunch of hysterical, pants-wetting, sissified social justice warriors at Edgewood College in Wisconsin.
The post-it-note says “Suck it up, pussies!” Whoever wrote it also drew a winking, tongue-out smiley face…
. . .
Students had been invited to express their feelings about the election by writing them on post-it-notes and placing them on a designated table. The post-it-note in question appeared in the window of the Office of Student Diversity and Inclusion instead, according to Campus Reform.
College Vice President Tony Chambers sent a letter to campus condemning this “act of cowardly hatred” and “intimidation.” He wrote:
A group of cross-functional college staff representing campus security, student conduct, human resources, Title IX enforcement, and diversity and inclusion measures convened Tuesday morning to discuss how to address the hateful message. This group determined that the message constituted a Hate Crime…
College officials informed the Madison police, and now the cops are investigating. They are investigating a post-it-note. With a non-threatening message and a smiley face on it. After inviting students to express their feelings via post-it-note.
That’s hate for you, I guess.
There’s more at the link.
Ye Gods and little fishes . . . hysterical over-reaction, anyone? I wonder what they’d do with a real hate note?
“the Office of Student Diversity and Inclusion”
I think that says it all. Someone’s college money is going to pay for said office.
I’m not a believer in ‘hate speech’. There’s speech. It may be colorful, laudatory, or vile. But so-called Freedom of Speech supports it. It’s protected.
Unless it’s an actual threat of criminal violence, libel, slander, or child porn – it’s protected.
Waa! He called us a name and drew an inoffensive cartoon is protected.
GROW UP! You’re in college now.
The U.S. Transportation Security Administration is one of those federal agencies that tends to inspire intense reactions among the traveling public. It’s a bureaucracy that interacts with millions of passengers each day, requiring their shoes, jackets, laptops—and time.
Virtually all this occurs at airports, with about 80 percent of the agency’s $7.4 billion budget spent on aviation security. Only 2 percent of the TSA’s funding goes to surface transportation, according to a report by the Office of Inspector General earlier this month. Congress is looking to change that.
Several U.S. senators want the TSA to focus more attention and resources on rail, highway, and marine transportation, which would mean greater security oversight at such places as Amtrak stations and Megabus coach stops. A bipartisan bill introduced Thursday by Senator John Thune (R-S.D.) would require the TSA to use a risk-based security model for these transport modes and to budget money based on those risks. It would require a wider use of the agency’s terrorist watch list by train operators and more detailed passenger manifests along with tighter screening of marine employees. The legislation also would increase the TSA’s canine use by as many as 70 dog-handler teams for surface transportation.
But, but…terrorism! They’re protecting us!
Because there are so many attempts to take buses and trains to Cuba! And there have been so many domestic attacks on boats, buses and trains.
WHAT? There haven’t?
I remember a time when there were few restrictions in public transportation regarding explosives and firearms, and very little occurred. People could purchase firearms through the mail! And the citizenry was not searched wholesale without benefit of a warrant or active crime. And they could travel relatively unmolested.
Government has used the excuse of airline hijackings and drunk drivers in the 70’s for ‘checkpoints’, and ‘no-knock’ warrants for ‘the drug war’, and now in this century, terrorist attacks on people, planes, buildings and infrastructure to create the PATRIOT Act and NDAA to further erode our civil rights. Rampant surveillance, secret prisons, secret courts and suspension of Constitutional Rights are the order of the day.
Emphasis on ORDER.
The TSA has stopped exactly HOW MANY attacks, now?
That’s right. ZERO, ZIP, BUPKIS.
And how many rights have we given up?
And now, the government is trying to steal more!
First, please pray for the innocent victims and injured, if that’s what you do…
So many people were affected by 9/11.
Not all were the first targets and responders.
Here is one story:
Ms. Scott is probably familiar to many of you, especially if you lived in the 70’s. She was ubiquitous – on TV shows such as Mary Hartman Mary Hartman, Welcome Back Kotter, Ryan’s Hope, and movies like American Grafitti and Earthquake. I remember her guesting on The Mike Douglas Show, wherein she shared she was the (uncredited) dead nude body of murder victim Anne Mary Deacon – as she was lifted from her shallow grave, in Dirty Harry!
Being (mostly) single, and in my 20’s during the 70’s, I always found her attractive. So this part of her story saddens me.
Ironically, she died in Florida shortly after moving there from New York City to help an ailing sister. One day she collapsed and was in a coma for several days but awoke in the hospital and seemed to be fine for a spell. She was released two days later on her birthday. No explanation was given for the coma, but she seemed fine and in good spirits. Three days later she went to take a nap and never woke up. Cause of death uncertain despite an autopsy. She was cremated.
Her fiancé had been killed in the 9/11 attacks.
The mother of her fiancé said Scott developed a drinking disorder shortly after the the 9/11 atrocities. She says, “Debralee has cirrhosis of the liver from her drinking.” The actress’ sister Jerri Scott adds, “She never did get over Dennis’ death.”. (IMDB)
We got the bastard, and many of his crew for the terrorist attacks. But, are still fighting
wars police actions overseas contingency operations against the forces who are determined to topple Western Civilization and establish a caliphate, with all the fundamentalist Muslim trappings. Including Sharia Law.
How does one fight a war against a radical philosophy hiding within a religion, with no geographic boundaries?
We owe it to The Republic, the 2996 people killed directly, those killed indirectly, the injured, and their loved ones to find a way to stop this poison once-and-for-all!
Not to do so dishonors their memories.