archives

recipes

This category contains 7 posts

“Don’t Go! It’s A COOKBOOK!”

to serve man

I awaken middle of the night and I’m cold.  Not just cool – cold.  This may have something to do with the fact that I’m laying on top of the top sheet, and not wearing much.  (I know – TMI)

Why am I doing this?

Well, I reside in The Valley of the Sun (the Phoenix Arizona area).  And we’re experiencing a cold streak.  It’s reportedly going to be 103° F, today.

It was 118° a week-and-a-half ago!  (Unofficially at a friend’s – 123°, on his back patio!)

And being in the Western side of the townhouse, I get the PM Sun exposure.  Usually 5 – 10 degrees warmer than the rest of the house!

SO…I sleep with a fan blowing directly on me, so the A/C may do her best work!

But, the body cools during sleep, and sometimes the combination of forced colder air and a cooler body equals…?

NO, this is not a replay of the Rod Serling Twilight Zone episode wherein the Earth’s orbit changed, and it is moving ever-closer to the Sun.  When, in fact, the TV character’s fever broke and he began getting colder, and in fact the Earth was moving AWAY from the Sun!

I was just getting cold last night.  So I moved the fan.

Which has nothing to do with the post’s title, except that’s another TZ episode.  The tag line from which popped into my head upon awakening cold.  🙂

My roommate said I watched too much TV as a child.  I’m beginning to think she was right.

Sometimes these posts write themselves!

Pinteresting! (Or Not)

I recently ‘joined’ Pinterest, another (self-serving) social media website wherein one chooses topics in which one has an interest (guns, humor, history, watches, pets for example), and pictures, articles, recipes, essays, things-for-sale appear in a hodge-podge of stuff from other members (aka PINS).  One may simply view them, expand them for more in-depth reading and/or comment on them.  PIN them to review later (as more are always being added.)  And, of course, add their own PINS to the group conversation!

The ultimate time waster!

(examples)

Funny Pictures Of The Day – 42 Pics:

Funny Pictures Of The Day – 42 Pics

Gilboa 9mm AR-type submachine gun:

Saved from guns.com  (Gilboa 9mm AR-type submachine gun)

I’m new at this, but this PIN caught my eye:

Product Details

Undercover Bracelet
A useful tool for covert and undercover operators, those that travel abroad in unstable countries, or anyone at risk of being held unlawfully.
A leading federal law enforcement agency asked for a special emergency handcuff key for their undercover operatives.
The Undercover Bracelet is the result.
This unique handcuff key is designed to always be situated at the optimum location for access and deployment – right next to the wrist.
Disguised as a common “gummy bracelet”, this rubbery flexible bracelet won’t draw even a second glance when worn in most environments.
This device is completely non-metallic, even the key portion.
The key, which is permanently affixed to one end of the bracelet, serves as the connector joining the two ends.
The key is not visible when the bracelet is worn.

It is quickly accessed by just yanking on the bracelet, exposing the key.

The bracelet accommodates wrists up to 10″, and can be cut down to fit.

Weight: 0.2 oz.
Patented
Made in USA.
On Amazon – $18.47
On Pinterest – $9.99 !
And joining Pinterest is FREE!
(FTC – neither Pinterest or Amazon gave me anything.  Get you own key!)

WHAT? Not Garlic Goldfish, AGAIN! :-)

The Garlic Goldfish (a perennial favorite Christmas snack) have arrived! 

Actually, they were assembled by yours truly, in a couple hours standing at the iron skillet, Worcestershire, Blue Bonnet margarine and garlic powder at-the-ready.  Then slow baked until dry and toasty.

(For the uninitiated, this is a snack I’ve made traditionally for years.  Originally, I made standard Chex Mix, with the requisite addition of peanuts, pretzels and the like.  With a tablespoon of this, a dash of that.  I determined two things – people singled out the Pepperidge Farm Goldfish Crackers for consumption so the other ingredients were wasted, and screw this tablespoon-dash thing!)

I cover roughly 9/10 of the bottom of the skillet with Worcestershire, add 1/2 a stick of margarine, and sprinkle garlic powder generously.  Then marinate a pan full of crackers until they soak it all up.  Transfer all to a turkey roasting pan and bake @ 300* or so, turning every 10 minutes of so to check for burning, until they are all dry and crispy.  (I use Blue Bonnet because it’s cheap and takes the high heat.)

I used to make these in massive quantities for Christmas when I was employed and bring them into work.  It became such a tradition that folks would start asking me in September if I was bringing in goldfish that year!
🙂

Consumer Warning – they are QUITE addictive and go great with beer!  People consuming these snacks needn’t be concerned they will be molested by vampires, or members of the opposite sex. (Unless they, too, have partaken of the garlicky treats!)

FTC – neither Blue Bonnet, French’s Worcestershire, Pepperidge Farm Crackers or anyone else gave me anything!  I bought and assembled it all myself.  Go make your own – and Merry Christmas!

They’re HE-ERE!

poltergeist(No, not poltergeists.)

THE GARLIC GOLDFISH, LAUDED IN SONG AND STORY, HAVE ARRIVED!

Well,  in a cheesy story, anyhow…

It seems once-upon-a-time, there was a lad who decided to make Chex Party Mix for enhancing his Christmas cheer.  And it came to pass.  And it was good.  But at a Christmas party, he noticed that most folks were being selective in what they ate from the mix of Chex cereals, peanuts, pretzels and Pepperidge Farm Cheddar Cheese Goldfish Crackers.  SO…

When it came time to make a subsequent batch, rather then spend all the extra money on the flotsam and jetsam which was being judiciously avoided, he just bought the goldfish crackers.  DUH!

And not only was it good, it was BETTER!

And a Christmas tradition was born!

When I was employed, I used to bring gallons of the stuff into work.  Beginning after Thanksgiving.  People would approach me in September and ask, “Are you making goldfish this year for Christmas?”

The traditional Chex Mix recipe calls for an assortment of cereal and snack goodies, marinated in a couple tablespoons of Worcestershire sauce and margarine, dashed with a bit of garlic powder, then baked until crispy.

I’m rarely subtle.

I modified the recipe to a half stick of margarine and enough Worcestershire sauce to make about 1/2 inch deep in the bottom of a frying pan.  Heat moderately until simmering.  Add garlic powder to taste.  I usually add a healthy dose.  (Suffice it to say we don’t have a vampire problem.)  Then coat the crackers until they soak up all the sauce, and bake @ 350-375, turning often until dry and crispy.  It’s okay if a couple burn a bit.  Those are the BEST!

Serve with ice cold beer or soda, and watch the garlicphiles come out!  They are hot immediately out of the oven – it’s wise to let them cool a bit.

goldfishENJOY!

 

 

The Garlic Goldfish Have Arrived!

2013-12-19 17.53.49The Garlic Goldfish (a perennial favorite Christmas snack) have arrived! 

Actually, they were assembled by yours truly, in a couple hours standing at the iron skillet, Worcestershire, Blue Bonnet margarine and garlic powder at-the-ready.  Then slow baked until dry and toasty.

(For the uninitiated, this is a snack I’ve made traditionally for years.  Originally, I made standard Chex Mix, with the requisite addition of peanuts, pretzels and the like.  With a tablespoon of this, a dash of that.  I determined two things – people singled out the Pepperidge Farm Goldfish Crackers for consumption so the other ingredients were wasted, and screw this tablespoon-dash thing!)

I cover roughly 9/10 of the bottom of the skillet with Worcestershire, add 1/2 a stick of margarine, and sprinkle garlic powder generously.  Then marinate a pan full of crackers until they soak it all up.  Transfer all to a turkey roasting pan and bake @ 300* or so, turning every 10 minutes of so to check for burning, until they are all dry and crispy.  (I use Blue Bonnet because it’s cheap and takes the high heat.)

I used to make these in massive quantities for Christmas when I was employed and bring them into work.  It became such a tradition that folks would start asking me in September if I was bringing in goldfish that year!
🙂

Consumer Warning – they are QUITE addictive and go great with beer!  People consuming these snacks needn’t be concerned they will be molested by vampires, or members of the opposite sex. (Unless they, too, have partaken of the garlicky treats!)

FTC – neither Blue Bonnet, French’s Worcestershire, Pepperidge Farm Crackers or anyone else gave me anything!  I bought and assembled it all myself.  Go make your own – and Merry Christmas!

Cooking with Guffaw, Part Two – Muffins

In our last episode…(to be read aloud in Don Adams’ Maxwell Smart voice)
We introduced crack for beer Garlic Goldfish, a variation of the classic holiday fare, Chex Mix, using only Pepperidge Farm Goldfish Crackers.
As it’s The Holidays, it seemed a breakfast/brunch item was in order…SO
Now were going to bastardize  slightly modify a standard recipe for breakfast muffins.
Best-Ever Muffins
(oven 400 degrees)
1 3/4 cups sifted all-purpose flour
1/4 cup sugar
2 1/2 tsp baking powder
3/4 tsp salt
1 well beaten egg
3/4 cup milk
1/3 cup salad oil
sift dry ingredients into a bowl,
make a well in the center,
combine egg, milk and oil,
add all at once to dry ingredients.
Stir quickly, just until dry ingredients are moistened.
Bake about 25 minutes (check @ 20 for doneness)
Makes 12
Of course, one may add blueberries or nuts, or chocolate chips, or a dollop of jam (to taste) to each muffin. 
(from Better Homes and Gardens New Cookbook, 1968 edition)
I usually use unbleached or whole-wheat pastry flour, and make
6 instead of 12 from the same recipe.
In this way, the muffins pop-over the top, becoming larger-sized
and mushroom shaped.  Of course doubling the recipe will make 12.

AND, being diabetic, I substitute crystalline fructose (NOT HFCS!) for sugar.
I’ve been known to double the sweetener, and add 1 melted square of unsweetened chocolate to the batter.

This makes a Chocolate Muffin which is not overly sweet (not a cupcake!)
OR,  I make Streusel Coffee Cake Muffins!

Streusel filling/topping
1 cup sugar (or fructose)
(or, if you’re really bad 1/2 sugar, 1/2 brown sugar!)
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1/2 cup butter
Cut in softened butter until crumbly.
Put 1/2 the streusel in the middle of the muffins, 1/2 on top!
Again, bake about 25 minutes (check @ 20 for doneness)

Serve muffins with copious amounts of butter, when hot.  Try not to eat too many, you will need room for Goldfish!
Enjoy! – Guffaw

Cooking With Guffaw

“I am not a Cook!”

A number of other bloggers (notably Brigid, of Home on the Range, and North, of North ) have taken to sharing recipes with the blogosphere.  Brigid is somewhat famous in this regard.
(Vegimama, of Vegetable For Four is on my sidebar – she’s my niece, with many terrific vegan recipes!)
All are obviously adept and skilled in the kitchen.  Me, not so much.
I have succeeded in making a few items, or modifying others’ recipes, to my taste.
With the holidays rapidly approaching, I thought I’d share a simple recipe, which I ripped-off  borrowed and modified from the original.
You probably remember, or have even made Chex Party Mix?  That wonderful concoction of Worcestershire sauce, garlic and butter, combined with cereals, crackers, pretzels and peanuts?   It’s been a cocktail party staple since the 60’s.  And, very addictive.
Some years back, when I was married, I prepared a batch for a holiday get-together, with all the above requisite ingredients.  It was a big hit.
But, during and after the party, I noticed something.  One of the tiny crackers I added to the mix, Pepperidge Farm Goldfish Crackers , were being sought out by the party-goers, excluding almost everything else!
This gave me an idea.
The next batch I prepared I didn’t buy pretzels, peanuts, or even cereal.  I just used the goldfish crackers!
The original recipe (at the above link) uses, in part, the following:
6 Tablespoons of butter or margarine
2 Tablespoons of Worcestershire sauce
3/4 teaspoon of garlic powder…onion powder…
I eliminated the onion powder (’cause I didn’t have it), and covered the bottom of the cast-iron skillet with about 3/4″ of Worcestershire sauce.  Then, I added half a stick of margarine (Blue Bonnet is cheap and doesn’t burn easily) and added the garlic powder to taste (which was a lot! – a serving spoon?!)  None of this six tablespoons of this, two tablespoons of that!
After heating the sauce mixture over medium heat (just when it starts to boil, and the margarine is melted), I add the crackers in sufficient quantity to baste them thoroughly with the mixture.  Being soup crackers, they absorb a lot. 
Once the crackers have absorbed the mixture, I put it into an aluminum foil roasting pan (think turkey), in the oven on low-medium.  I keep adding to the crackers with baking stuff as they are prepared in the skillet.  Eventually, the roaster is heaped with dampened crackers.  Then, I bake the pan, at low to medium, occasionally mixing the crackers.  Sometimes, those at the top burn a bit – it’s okay, they’re the best!
Eventually, the crackers are all dried, hot and ready.
All you need then is a party and beer.  Or maybe no party?  Very addictive.
I once even made this with real garlic and real butter.  I have a heart surgeon on speed dial.
And, as an added bonus, no pesky vampires to spoil your party!

h/t Checkerboard Square, ‘Pepperidge Farm remembers!’

"Round up the usual suspects."

In Loving Memory…