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halloween

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Halloween Guffaws

Yeah, it’s been awhile between guffaws.  With (ongoing) government corruption, terrorism and voter fraud, there’s not much to laugh about…

HOWEVER, my go-to in times of stress is humor.  So, without further ado:

haunted-cats halloween halloween-weiner halloween-dead halloween-brew halloween-2

dawn-halloween

My niece and her husband as Sonny and Cher, during some Halloween!

Halloween 2014

halloween frazetta

by Frank Frazetta

Halloween was probably my favorite holiday – as a child.  When else can I go out at night, largely unescorted after I reached school-age, and extort goodies from as many neighbors as I could, all whilst my identity was hidden!

Living in a city-locked white-bread college town, possible dangers were negligible, and we could get popcorn balls and caramel apples along with the usual  candy bars and such.  I even remember returning home on one occasion to get a second bag!

Then, I became a teen, and my interests lie in other than candy…

Fast-forward to fatherhood, and escorting my tiny daughter in her princess costume to a few neighbors.  This evolved to letting her go out by herself, in costumes she herself had sewn and designed (Jean Grey from the XMen, for example).  Dad got into the act at work, oft winning department costume contests, using makeup, wigs, even shaving my head and/or face a couple of times to make a costume character come together!

After the accident, the holiday lost it’s appeal.  I dressed up a couple times at work – but my heart wasn’t in it.

I don’t even give out candy.  Getting up and down to answer the door is just too time consuming and physically difficult.

And besides, Jean Grey doesn’t stop by, anymore.

Halloween Night (in a liberal college town)

Yea!  Halloween!

Not so much here.  I observed NO trick-or-treaters in my late afternoon-early evening travels.  None.  And none came to the door.

(Granted, we didn’t have the porch light turned on, and it might have appeared as if we weren’t home!)

A friend in a busy Chicago suburb reported to me she had 5 (five) kids between the government-mandated times of 5 to 7 PM.  Five.  It’s very sad how ‘they’ have ruined Halloween.

SO, my roommate said she was coming home from work, and called and asked I pick up dinner @ a nearby Subway.  It’s a half mile away, so that’s no big deal.  I went in, and one of the people behind the counter was dressed for the holiday (even though there was a sign asking all patrons to remove masks if they had them – irony impaired, no doubt!)

And the Subway guy was dressed as…..Che’ Guevara!  Fatigues, boots, fake beard, beret.

I ordered and received my sandwiches (which were quite yummy, BTW!), but on my way out, I couldn’t help but comment to Che’:

“Hey Che’.  You are quite scary for Halloween.  Che’s was a bigot and a murderer.  You might think of him at Hitler on a smaller scale.  Would you have dressed as Hitler?”

Then I left.  Hopefully, he wiki’ed Ernesto ‘Che’ Guevara later and rethought his choice of costume.

Che-t-shirt

BTW FTC – I paid for my sandwiches!

I Remember Halloween Past

I’ve always loved Halloween.

From my own childhood as a pirate, or a hobo; a cowboy or a secret agent…it meant getting to be out of the house at night, after dark, extorting goodies from neighbors and even houses far away.  Homemade popcorn balls, cookies and caramel apples sometimes weighed down the trick-or-treat bags of commercial candy though.  (As if this were a problem!)

It was ‘safe’, in the 50s and 60s.

Then, not long after my Man-From-Uncle/James Bond excursion into the night air, I was too old.  😦

I didn’t go out trick-or-treating again for many years, when I accompanied my daughter Molly.  I remember a number of years of fairy princesses followed by ballerinas – Molly had started taking dance lessons.

Guffaw’s Rule of Weather (in Phoenix) – It never really ‘cools off’ until Halloween.  People have short memories from the previous years, and think when it reaches October it means cooler weather.  Not necessarily so.

I remember one Halloween escorting young Molly door-to-door, resplendent in her costume, covered by my insulated Ike jacket.  It was something like 45 degrees, breezy and humid.  The drill was I was to wait on the sidewalk and remove the jacket while she raced all sparkley  to the next front door, rang the bell, got candy, then raced back to the jacket I warmed up until her next house!  Next house after next house…  GEEZ, it was cold!

jean greyThen, she had gotten old enough she no longer wanted an escort, and good enough with her Mom’s sewing machine to make her own costume – Jean Grey from X-Men.  Did her own makeup, too!  She and her best friend had been making a killing buying, trading and selling X-Men comics at school.

My daughter –  the 6th Grade capitalist entrepreneur!

She would have probably had another year before she was too old, but Jean Grey was to be her last.

You made a terrific Jean Grey  –  Happy Halloween, Molly!

Remember to hug those close to you and tell them you love them, because you never know.

Darwin Award Candidate?

Charles Darwin

Bells A Ringing reminisces about teen-aged pranksters, and possible consequences.

And reminded me of a similar incident.

When Bob P. and I were guard supervisors (he a Captain, I his Lieutenant – woo hoo! /sarcasm) we would patrol to each of the contract guard posts and check to determine if the guard assigned was awake, alert, doing his/her job, or even there.  Sometimes, they weren’t!

One late afternoon, we went to a cafeteria-style restaurant, largely for Bob to flirt with the cashier.  This was in our area, but not a guard post.  Just a place to stop and get a bite or a soda.  And Bob liked to talk to the girls.  I was happily married, so I didn’t care.

The cashier animatedly and laughingly told us that about five minutes earlier, a masked individual had approached her and stuck a revolver in her face, and demanded money!  She laughed, because after the initial shock, she recognized the voice as that of her boyfriend!  And it was Halloween.

Good thing we weren’t early.  Bob and I would have walked in and simply shot him.

Sounds like a Darwin Award candidate to me!

h/t kx59, Southernbell

"Round up the usual suspects."

In Loving Memory…